Confident [kon-fi-duh nt]
having strong belief or full assurance; sure
sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one’s own abilities, correctness, successfulness, etc.; self-confident; bold
Kids are sensitive beings. As parents, we have the power to make or break them with our words and actions. And, then there’s outside sources like teachers, bullies and other family members who can influence their confidence levels – for good and bad.
Don’t fret, there’s hope! Here are 5 things you can do to instill confidence in your kids:
- Tell them when they’re good at something. You’re their hero and positive encouragement from you can change how they see themselves. However, don’t tell them they’re good at something if they’re not. That’ll just lead to problems when someone tells them the truth. (William Hung, anyone? Someone obviously told him he was good. They were wrong.)
- When they’re not, tell them gently. As mentioned above, don’t lie to your kids. If they mess up or they’re not good at something, let them know. Gently, so someone won’t hurt them later by telling them in a not-so-nice way.
- Don’t yell and/or berate them when they don’t get something right. Yelling doesn’t work. When you yell, your kids aren’t listening to what you say, they’re listening to how you’re saying it. Your message is getting lost in all the noise. Also, yelling and berating is a serious confidence killer. It leaves them feeling like they can’t do anything right.
- Let them accomplish things on their own. Self-accomplishment is a huge confidence builder. Think about how good you feel when you accomplish something on your own – especially when you thought you couldn’t do it.
- Tell them that the opinions of others don’t matter. Actually, scratch that. They do matter. Just let your kids know that it’s OK for someone to not like them, their clothes, shoes, etc. That their opinion, but it doesn’t mean it’s right or true.