Because “do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work.

the kid

I come from the time where kids were raised in the way of “do as I say, not as I do.” And while that worked (kinda) for my parents, I don’t want that to be the way I parent. I mean, I know that sometimes the kid just have to do something, “because I said so,” however, if I want him to do something the “right way,” I feel I’d better be providing a good example of what the “right way” is.

Want him to eat his vegetables? I’d better be eating mine.

Want him to watch less TV and read more? I’d better have a book in my hand, more often than the remote.

Want him to do his chores, before playtime? Then the kitchen should be clean, before I logon to Facebook.

Want him to turn off the video games and go outside and play? I’d better be turning off the computer and getting some sort of physical activity in as well.

I could go on and on, with example after example – but I think you get what I’m trying to say.

You see, as easy as it is to say, “I’m the parent, and you do what I tell you to do,” It’s easier – in the long run – to provide a good example of what “doing the right thing is.” If you want kids to choose to do the right thing – you have to show them how, in addition to telling them.

5 Places for Moms to Make New Friends

Friends Photographing Themselves

Hey, mama! Think you’re too busy to make friends? Or, if you’re like me – a total introvert – you find it hard to do so. There are many opportunities throughout your day to make friends.

  1. Work – Making friends at work should be the easiest, since it’s where you spend most of your time. Take time to get to know your co-workers. You may be surprised by how much you have in common with some of them. Look for common interests, fashion styles, etc. Strike up a conversation in the elevator, or in the cafeteria. You never know, your new best friend could be sitting in an office just two floors down.
  2. Church – If you attend church together, you already have one thing in common: your faith. Build on that. Do you both have kids that are around the same age? Are your husbands friends? Maybe invite her family over for a cookout, or movie/game night.
  3. The Gym – While most people don’t go to the gym to socialize, there are still opportunities to do so. Does she have a physique or workout routine you’d like to emulate? Maybe strike up a conversation in the locker room (not when naked, because that’s weird), it’s possible you can become workout buddies, leading to a friendship outside the gym.
  4. PTA/Other School Committees – Your kids are already friends – or at least they probably know each other. Start off with playdates to see if you have anything in common. I know it sounds like you’re interviewing for friends – in a way, you are. You have kids who go to school together, so it’s safe to assume you live in the same neighborhood. Invite her over for coffee, maybe form a book club with other PTA/school moms.
  5. Book Club – Are you an avid reader like me? Find out if anyone you know is a member of a book club, ask if you can join. Or, search online for book clubs in your area. You already have your love of literature in common – maybe there’s more.

You see, it doesn’t have to be hard to make new friends. You just have to put some effort into it – just like you would building any other relationship.

What about you? Where did you meet your BFF?

photo source

Childhood Adventures

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The other night, I was watching The Goonies (Best. Movie. Ever.) and it had me all nostalgic for the adventures of my childhood. When I was a kid, we used to trek all over the neighborhood. All was fair game, nowhere off limits – as long as we were home before the streetlights came on.

Unfortunately, these days, I feel like we can’t even let our kids out of our sights, for fear that they’ll be taken, or even killed. Watching the news lately, makes me feel like the bad guys have won. I hate that my son can’t have the same type of wonderful, adventure-filled childhood that I did. I hate it. And, I don’t know what to do about it. How can I let him have the space to grow, without compromising his safety? I don’t want to be a helicopter parent, but I don’t want him in danger either. What do I do? What do you do, to ensure your children’s safety, but still let them have “fun?”

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Explaining Ferguson and Mike Brown to The Kid

I have a confession to make: I haven’t explained what’s happening in Ferguson, MO to the kid yet. I know I need to, but I’m struggling with how to tell him that an 18-year-old, unarmed young man is dead, and that a police officer – someone who’s supposed to “protect and serve” – is the person who shot him. Murdered him. He’s only 8, how do I tell him that this situation is just one of many just like it?

Like any modern-day parent, I took to the both Internet, and friends/family for advice. I found some wonderful articles on the subject and received some great ideas from people. I’ll definitely be using bits and pieces from them when the hubs and I sit him down, to talk, tomorrow. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

In the meantime, please watch this video: ‘Am I Next?’: Ferguson’s Protests Through the Eyes of a Teenager.

‘Am I Next?’: Ferguson’s Protests Through the Eyes of a Teenager from Transient Pictures on Vimeo.

For Your Weekend Reading

For Your Weekend Reading TMwM

I hope you’re all enjoying your weekends! Wanted to share some interesting reads I found this week: