Lying to be perfect: a new parenting norm?

Girl Giving Her Mother Bouquet of Roses --- Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

A while back, I had the privilege of calling in to’s radio show, “The MOMS with Denise & Melissa,” on SiriusXM Radio. The conversation was all about honesty and parenting – when parents lie to other parents to seem perfect.

It was such an awesome topic, I thought I’d bring it to The Mom with Moxie, because all moms have experienced this before.

In my opinion, there are three main reasons moms lie to other moms, in order to seem perfect:

  1. Mommy Guilt – No one wants to be seen as the mom who can’t “do it all.” So, they lie to others about being the “perfect mom,” with the “perfect kids.”
  2. Perception of Perfection – When moms think all the other moms have the “perfect life.” So, they feel the need to lie to create that same “perfect life” for themselves. They don’t realize that no one is perfect. We all have problems.
  3. Competition and Comparison – It’s human nature to want to “win” and be the best at everything – even parenting. It’s that whole “Anything you can do, I can do better” mentality.

So there you have it. My three reasons parents lie to other parents to seem perfect.

What do you think? Did I miss anything? Have you experienced this. Let me know in the comments section below.


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  1. says

    I can relate to this as a working mom trying waaay to hard to balance it all. There is a certain bravery in vulnerability though. This is really something I’m trying to work on developing. I think it starts with beginning to admit that we can’t have it ALL (at the same time at least). Thank you for bringing up this topic! I look forward to following your blog- and I hope you’ll follow mine at :)

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